Tuesday 28 March 2017

I am less terrified

Last night was my second rehearsal with the USO and I am arrogantly impressed with myself and my improvement. To start with, I didn't almost blind a violinist with my baton like I did last week (oops), but more importantly, I had more confidence in my abilities as well as less of the "I'm intruding where I don't belong" feeling. I am still ridiculously intimidated by the regular conductor (the wonderful Peter Webb), but I know I can at least run both of my pieces, all the way through, with minimal mistakes.

I will be filming in two weeks time and this somewhat terrifies me. Part of me feels as if the entire future of my life and career is resting on this one recording, but when I take a step back, I remember that I have my creative writing degree to fall back on, as well as other talents within the music industry.

My current (first-world) problem is that I have too many options ahead of me and I simply do not know which path to take.

Hopefully I'll sort it out soon.

Monday 20 March 2017

I am terrified

Tomorrow evening, I will have my first of three rehearsals with (what I am sure will be) the lovely Unley Symphony Orchestra. I wish I could say I am purely excited about this, but I am mostly nervous. I've never taken a small ensemble before, let alone a full orchestra! I may not even come up with footage worthy to send in as my Masters audition.
As I'm writing this post, my baton and scores sit on my desk, untouched for over a week. 
A week. 
I can't believe I've had an extra week to prepare for my first time conducting a real orchestra and I've squandered it through general laziness...
Starting to question whether I really want this or even if I deserve it.